


Do you love me now?

by varenoea2



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Canonical Child Abuse, F/M, Fever Dreams, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-30
Updated: 2015-09-30
Packaged: 2018-04-24 02:56:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4902874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/varenoea2/pseuds/varenoea2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The tour takes its toll on the band. And while failure is not an option for Murdoc, that doesn't mean he's not vulnerable. Luckily, 2D is there to help him through his Freudian dreams...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do you love me now?

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own the characters or the location where the story takes place. All of these belong to Jamie Hewlett and Damon Albarn. This is a piece of fan fiction, written solely for fun, and no financial profit is being made.

The press says the tour is brilliant, and the concerts are great entertainment. Everybody loves the second album. There are interviews, radio shows, television, award shows. 2D isn’t the fastest thinker; it puzzles him how the others always know what country they’re in at the moment. 2D only looks at restaurant menus and tries to guess. But at least he usually gets the continent right.

It’s been eight weeks on tour, one more to go. Everybody’s tired. During the first few weeks, they used to chat on the bus. Now, they’re mostly sleeping when they get a moment alone.

Except Murdoc. When he’s alone in his bunk, he’s hacking away on his laptop. Answering emails, giving interviews and doing online chats, organizing and planning. Not that it amounts to much – they have a manager, a tour manager, roadies, and the two twerps who are in charge of bringing out their sound and animated shows really well. But Murdoc is still at it all the time. And before they go on stage, he runs around and hurls abuse at the roadies and the road manager if something isn’t perfect.

“Chill, man”, Russel keeps telling him. “Everything’s going beautifully.”

Murdoc snorts. “Yeah, because I keep an eye on things. That’s why it’s my band, not yours.”

And now, they’re in a hotel – somewhere in Asia, 2D is certain, because everybody here looks like Noodle – that rules out Indonesia and India – and he’s bunking with Murdoc. Noodle’s got her own room now, unlike on the last tour three years ago. Russel’s got his own room too (“because nobody else would fit in there”, snickers Murdoc). 2D and Murdoc only share because there’s been a mistake and they only had this bedroom left. At least there are two separate beds!

Murdoc falls into his bed, then kicks off his boots, rolls up and shivers.

“Goodnight”, says 2D.

“Night.”

2D swallows and gathers his courage. “Muds, are you alright?”

“Wha’?”

“You haven’t called me anything all day. Not faceache, not moron, not dullard...”

“Sorry I neglect you. I’ll change my ways.”

“No… no, I mean, are you alright?”

“Well, I’m bloody stressed out”, snaps Murdoc without turning around, “and it’s not helping that you’re keeping me awake!”

“Okay, I’ll shut up now. I’ll be quiet. Murdoc?”

“Ugh!”

“You did a great job today”, says 2D, because his friend needs some cheering up. “You and Russel were really tight together.”

“I played half the notes wrong.”

“Doesn’t matter when you’re a bassist.”

“Shut your gob or I’ll come over.”

“Okay, Muds. Night!”

“Night. Idiot.”

2D switches off the lights, and the room falls silent. His ears are still ringing from the amps and monitors. Somewhere out there, you can hear cars, and now and then voices. Sometimes bits of strange music waft through the air. So he drifts off.

At some point, he wakes up. There’s a feeling of unrest in the room. There’s also a lot of pressure on his bladder. But the bed is warm… 2D swings his legs out of bed with a sigh and stumbles to the bathroom. Murdoc is moaning in his sleep. 2D listens while he pees. They don’t sound like happy moans. Thank God for that. 2D doesn’t want to know the sounds he makes when he fucks those cheap, disgusting groupies. Male or female. Or the sounds he made when he fucked Paula.

The thought gives 2D a pang in the heart. Why does this still hurt? He hasn’t seen her in five years. Hell, he wouldn’t even mind a threesome with both of them. Murdoc could fuck him and he could eat Paula out at the same time. That would be fine. Just… not… Paula and Murdoc, but without 2D. No, that won’t do.

Of course, Murdoc wouldn’t fuck someone as dumb and useless as 2D. Who’s dumber and more useless than a groupie that you don’t know the name of.

2D has almost made it back to the bed.

“How’m I supposed to sleep when you keep groaning like that?” he asks – very quietly – into the darkness.

Murdoc gasps, and then there’s a word. “Dad…”

Oh dear, thinks 2D.

“Dad… no… I didn’t… fucked u… up…”

2D stays glued in place and stares into the darkness.

“Dad, no, I fucked up”, sobs Murdoc from his pillow fort. It doesn’t even sound like his voice. Not determined, not angry, just very, very confused. “I tried… but I didn’t…”

And then he lets out a long, gasping groan. Like a drowning man.

2D can stand it no longer. He creeps over to Murdoc’s bed and pats the shaggy black hair he can make out in the darkness. “Hey, Muds, you’re dreaming.”

“Dad, please… don’t make me go back… back there… no…”

“Hey! Hey, it’s me! You’re dreaming!”

But Murdoc won’t wake up. Instead, he starts to sob. “I tried! I tried… only… I fucked up…”

There’s only one thing for it. 2D sits down on the bedside and clears his throat. He has no idea how Murdoc’s father sounds, but definitely nothing like him! “You… uhm, I’m your dad. Do you hear me now?”

Murdoc goes quiet. There, thinks 2D, it’s not working.

But then, Murdoc whimpers: “Dad, I tried so hard… just… don’t… not the riding crop…”

“No!” squeaks 2D in horror. “You did great! You did great today! Really!”

Murdoc lets out a sigh. “Dad… I don’t… have to go… back out…?”

2D bites his lip. “No. No. You did great. You did so great that… you never have to go back out. Never again.” And because he can’t help it, he puts his hand on Murdoc’s head and ruffles his hair.

If he ever knew about this, he would kill 2D. It’s like petting a sleeping tiger. But as it is, Murdoc relaxes and whimpers a bit, and that’s it. His scalp feels hot. Does he have a fever?

“You’re always trying so hard”, says 2D tenderly.

Murdoc calms down and leans into the touch of 2D’s hand. “Never again?” he mumbles.

“You never have to go out there again”, says 2D firmly. “Unless you want to. But that would be a pity, because you’re so good. You did a great job today. And I love to see you… out there. Doing your thing.”

Murdoc whimpers once more, and 2D runs his fingers through the strands of black hair. He knows he will never get to do this again. His heart aches. Murdoc must have been such a cute little boy. If he had a little boy like that, he would probably spoil him rotten.

“And… I want you to know that I love you”, he says. “And I’m gonna burn that riding crop. And everything else. And then I’ll stamp on it, and then I’ll burn it again!”

Murdoc sniffles, and it’s absolutely ridiculous. “Dad... do… do you love me now?”

“Yeah, I love you”, says 2D softly. “Love you. Always did. Don’t… don’t forget that. From the first day I saw you.”

“I tried”, whispers Murdoc. “And… I fucked up…”

“You didn’t fuck up!” whispers 2D and ruffles his hair again. “You did everything right! You did great. And I love you. You’re the best. The best little boy I could wish for.”

Murdoc whimpers once more and leans into 2D’s hand. And because 2D is already so close to Murdoc’s ear, he kisses his hair, and a heatwave surges through his body. His heart flutters. If Murdoc wakes up now, 2D’s going to get disemboweled.

But he doesn’t wake up.

“Just a few more nights”, mumbles 2D. Then they’ll be done with the tour. And Murdoc won’t have to worry himself sick any more. “Goodnight. I love you, okay? Now sleep.”

“Hm-hm.” Murdoc nods quietly and mumbles one last goodnight, and 2D goes back to his own bed.

And though it’s quiet now, 2D just can’t sleep any more.


End file.
